I am not a crybaby!

I have to admit, im a softie...but not a crybaby! Maybe, its just that i dwelve into my feeling a little more than others...

All this started with my obsession with the Australian drama series, McLeod's Daughters. No, let me rephrase that, im not obsessed with the show, just slightly addicted. Its just, in the past recent months, it has helped me look forward to my otherwise grumpy mornings. Just watching those farms...the freshness and the simple beauty of the countryside just gives me the sense of calmness (is that right...Calmness?) in the mornings. And not to mention, i just love the Australian accents, the people and all...just brings back wonderful memories of my days in Australia. So, basically...the show has just become a part of my everyday routine...

Hmmm...so anyway, in one of those previous episodes, a misfortune...a unexpected death occured. One of the characters, Claire McLeod dies. As i have started to feel for all the characters, the sadness was... slightly overwhelming. So, as i was watching the episode, tears started rolling down, i felt that 'lump' in my throat, my nose started running , i started sniffing and...im sure ur getting my point...yes...so i kinda started to cry...a little....just a tad bit. Unfortunately, just as i thought i better wipe my tears before anyone sees, my sister had to see...and that was it! For the whole day and for a few days after that, she was calling me the 'Cry baby'! Well...is it my fault that i feel more than her? And its not suprising either cos ive always been the emotional one in my family...

Oops...i better get going...guess what's coming on tv next? Yup...McLeod's Daughters!!! Haha!

Edgy...edgy...edgy....PMS? Not quite...so what is then?

Hmmm...PMS, the Pre Menstrual Stress that creeps up everytime, right before the time of the month right...so what do you call it when ur hormones are still raging when its not during the pre-stage but rather while its going on? Its not 'Post' either...so what is it? That's what im feeling right now...im still so edgy and i can feel my heartbeat...beating faster.... I try not to show it out...so no one really knows...whenever i feel like wanting to scream...i quickly take my mind off to something else...so i dont burst....

But...i just had to let it out today...on Joe...yeah Joe, my punching bag. The one to whom i cant really hide anything from. Yeah, he's seen it all...the smiley me...and the sulky me...I know, thats not fair to him...cos i dont let my frustrations out to others but its always an exception when it comes to him. But then, i guess its only right for him to know the 'real' me cos its him who's going to say Yes to me...for 'better or worse'...so im giving him a hint to how the 'worse' can be! Im sure its in his mind that i have such a good excuse for whenever im cranky and grumpy...ive got the PMS to blame it on! But i guess...only girls would probably understand this feeling...that overcome us...which kinda like catches us unaware and all of sudden...its there...waiting to jump and bite! Why do we have to go through this? Its bad enough with the physical uneasiness that we go through every single month...the cramps, the pimples, the back aches and whatever else other horrible things we have to feel during this time...our hormones have to give us a hard time too! And all this makes us react in ways that make men think we choose to be such cranky monkeys (as what joe calls me!)! Sighhhhhh...

And this takes me back to something my grandmother used to say before...as girls...we have to face all this...i remember when i was 14 and i was having one of those really bad cramps (that made my lips turn blue!)... i was resting my head on her lap...and as she carressed my face...she said "We girls have to go through this, Molu"...and i was like..."What, this kinda pain, every month?"....and she said...."Not just this pain, molu...there's a lot more that we will face and feel"...and now years later...i totally get u, Amumma..totally! Hmm...and just as you hope it'll all end when the mestrual cycle stops...there will be the menapause that's going to be there, waiting to knock at ur door! Oh god...and lets not even go there!!!

Im sorry Joe...if ur reading this...that i let it out on you earlier this morning...its just that with you, im totally myself...and i cant hide anything...what u see now Joe...is ME...the beautiful and the ugly...hmmm...If only Amumma was here...I could just rest my head on her lap, like before...and her soothing fingers would tell me...that this is what she meant...and that somehow I'll go through it...

My Babbles....aint so babbly after all huh?

Hey...i just realised i aint bubbly enough huh? Just one post a month? That's not whats called babbles it? Now...ill have to get butt up and get my fingers working or ill have to change the name of this blog!!!

So....im going to put all my babbles into writing...and here's to more than one post a month!

Ode to My Friends...

Friends...the people that has come into my life, some have stayed, and some i've somehow lost touch with along the way. Some since my childhood, some from the good ol' schooling days, a few from work and others that ive been so fortunate to pick up somehow along the way.

Lets see...there's Jaime...my friend of 12 years...12 years..oh man! I remember meeting her for the first time in Form 4, in our school canteen. My 'ulu' friend from Nilai...haha...but hey 'ulu' no more!!! Thanks to me, of course! Haha! Hmm...who would have thought that we would turn out to be this close after all these years. How the little of twists of fate has brought us closer as friends. The one friend that knows me in and out... We're the 'same head' (satu kepala!) We can be crazy, stupid and serious and in whichever mode that we're in...its all good. But of course, there are those times that we drive each other up the wall...but thats all part of this crazy friendship of ours! Some people look at us and our friendship and think we're strange...but hey i have no complaints...do u Jaime? Haha! I still wonder how my life would be if i have not met you...

Then...there's my naughty, funny, crazy and sweet friend Sid whom i affectionately know as Shyam... the one i've been friends with in all these 27+ years! Come to think of it, he's my very first friend! We go back...way way back, to the days when we used to play catching-catching...and playing with his dogs...and i remember those days when we used to stay in each others house...and how i used to anxiously wait for the mornings,to wake up and start playing together! And then there was the few years in between when we were so shy...that we stopped talking! Haha...and today he is one of my very very close friends. When i think about having fun with friends...the equation's never complete without Shyamu! What's fun without Shyam??? Here's to all the years we've been friends, Shyamu...and to all the coming days as well!

Now, it brings me back to one of my closest friends that ive lost...in sight but never in mind and heart. Maria...whom i miss very dearly...who passed away in December 2003. The one friend that's responsible in making my schooling days the best days of my life. Sitting next to her for 2 whole years was the best! I remember how she used to annoy me in class when i was engrossed doing my work...how she used to hate me being serious. Thats just when she'll start pulling pranks just to annoy me, to get me to scream which of course will end up with both of us laughing our heads off...and how she used to help me go through my Chemistry practicals...when she used to switch on the Bunsen Burner for me everytime we had our practicals... cos she knew how afraid i was to turn it on! Hari Raya has never been the same without her. And how i regret not having spent enough time with her when she was around. Maria...if you somehow are able to see me and hear me from where you are now...i never got the chance to tell you, that what a wonderful friend you have been to me and i hope you know that i will always cherish all those countless, wonderful moments i've had with you. You may be out of sight, but never out of my heart.

Of course...how can i not talk my most favourite person in the world right now...Joe. The love of my life...and my best friend. Not a day goes by without me thanking the angels (yes,yes Jaime...you're one of them too) that brought him into my life. There's heaps of wonderful things to say about you Joe...and its impossible for me to say all that here and now...But to sum it all...you're that person that makes my days bright, my nights starry...the one that believes in me and the one that brings out the best in me. And i look forward to having our little dream come true...soon.

And then there's Karishma, Kak Faridah, Amar, Gloria, CJ, Yu Yin, Jen, Jacalyn, Sylphy, Sri Dass, Thiru, Su Li, and many others...all of whom are special and have added colour to this life of mine in their own special way...and whom i wish i could go on wriitng about but unfortunately im fingers are killing me..so i've got to stop somewhere!

So, i shall end this big, chunky post of mine (im making up for all the days ive been quiet..:P) with this quote that i read about friendship...

"Most people walk in and our of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart"...

With that, goodnight my dear friends...

-@meeta-

Woohoo! I've done it, my very first blog!

Welcome everyone...to this very first posting of my very first blog! After much procastination, i finally got down to actually start a very own blog of mine! And i hope ive made my friends, who's been bugging me to start one (you know who you are, girls!) happy! You know something, starting a blog was one of my new year resolutions (i know, a lame one huh?) and i did it! Woohoo...now lets see...another 5 more to go...hehe...we'll its a good start to the new year anyway right?

What stopped me from bloggin was the fear of not knowing what to write...or how i might sound. Recently, i came across this blog where this person mentioned that this is his blog so he will write whatever he wants even if it sounds stupid! So then i thought...yeah...this is my blog...so who cares if my babbles sounds crappy huh? So here goes...:P

Oh yes, before i go on...Happy New Year everyone! May this year bring you all that you've wished for, lots of happiness and all wonderful things...just as i hope mine to be.

So...this is the start of a new era of bloggin for me...and for now, ill stop here...fret no more, there'll me more to come...so see you soon...really soon..:)

-@meeta-